Life's Sweeter When Shared

Our lives are a compilation of moments strung together in the continuum of time and space – the blinding nature of our very existence rendering perception of reality – that we are in perpetual motion – just beyond our grasp. Time always has a way of escaping us, yet, we are bound by its limitations and are entrenched by the confounds of life’s banal upkeeps – the things we must do to simply continue living. As these moments continue to unfold one after the other, sometimes, just sometimes there are clearly marked partitions where we can conceptualize the turning of a page in the storybooks of our lives, the end of one chapter and the ushering in of another. I happen to be facing one such transition, and in these days I find myself engulfed with recollections, nostalgia, and retrospective clarity – none of which I wield any modicum of control over, but are rather like welcomed, visiting emotions that I allow to pass through me as I survey the landscape of a place once foreign to me, that I have now called home for half of my twenties. Now in the first year of my 30s, amidst a process of reflection, fear of change and the unknown, and excitement, I find myself gravitating toward the familiar friendly faces of my siblings – the ones who are and have continually been rooting for my success, no matter what.

March 28^th will mark 5 years to the day that I first embarked on a new journey, my life in Korea. As someone who can appreciated the OCD-like idiosyncrasies of seemingly extraneous symmetry, I will be leaving Korea on the 5^th anniversary of when I arrived, for no other reason than because I can…so why not? When I first came to this fascinating peninsula, it was, as most other expats will admit, with the intention of staying for one year. One year became two, and then three, and finally here I am facing the end of what has become a life-changing five year expedition. In these final weeks of Korean life, I have had a lot of time to think, meet old friends, and reflect on some of my accomplishments, failures, personal growths, and new goals. What I have realized about the accomplishments and failures, specifically, is that both offer lessons and are tools for growth. From this point, I began to think about all of the people in my life who have helped shape my world view and who have actively participated in the narrative of my life. One recent conversation about siblings got me thinking more about what my own siblings mean to me, and this blog post can be directly attributed to that conversation.

I consider myself extremely fortunate for everything in my life; from my wonderful, loving, supportive family, to my circle of incredibly understanding and loyal friends. I love them all, and I feel incredibly rich knowing that I have so many people in my life that I can count on, refer to in times of confusion, share things with, look up to, strive to impress, and want to become the best version of myself for. Perhaps I will dedicate another post entirely to my friends, whom I love and respect, but for now I will direct my attention to where I find it; on my bros and our sister.

I have been surrounded by talented, ambitious people my whole life, which in itself is a gift; we learn from our surroundings, so if we have been placed in an atmosphere that promotes reaching higher, thinking deeper, and doing more, then that is a blessing, especially when one carefully considers the alternatives. Having such fascinating people in my life who share the same incredible parents only multiplies the benefits and remarkable nature of this gift. Last night I met a friend who grew up without any siblings, and this friend expressed what I perceived as genuine curiosity as to what life must be like with siblings. I hadn’t really thought that much about it, and like with so many other things, I had fallen victim to my own selfish human nature and had never taken the necessary time to truly stop, think, and appreciate them for the blessings that they are. After all, my friend was expressing the feeling that something was always inexplicably missing during childhood and even now; how could I not have sooner realized how lucky I have been? Naturally, this made me feel slightly embarrassed, because I have never known the solidarity of being a single child and I had never considered it for the reality that it is for many people. I hadn’t really even pondered what life would be like as an only child because my brothers and sister were, in one capacity or another, always just there. Sure there were times when we were kids when they were annoying, but I never, not once, wished they weren’t around. But now that we are all well into adulthood, I think I’m overdue for a real reflection of what they have meant to me and how they have enriched my life in ways I am only now beginning to understand.

I suppose each of us has our own reality to cope with. There are many paths toward the same destination. In my friends case, being an only child was just a fact of life and no doubt had its ups and downs, although the process of hearing the downs got me to thinking about my own upbringing and how I would want to replicate it for my children, should I be blessed with the opportunity one day.  

Ironically enough, as I began writing this post I got a call from my little brother, Eesa, who lives in Kuwait which is 6 hours behind Korea. We often speak during his morning commute, which is about mid-afternoon for me when I’m in Korea. We shared updates, goals, and a few inside jokes before hanging up – a pretty typical chat amongst brothers who live in different countries – but the timing of his call was all the more reason for me to share my thoughts about having siblings. Before I go any further on the subject though, I think it’s important to mention that I know some very well-adjusted, considerate, and generous people who grew up without siblings. The friend that I mentioned before is one of those people. I do however think there are immense advantages to having siblings, and the relationships between siblings aren’t stationary, they evolve as we as people evolve. Quite simply, I see my own siblings as gifts; they enrich my life as do friends and mentors. I know that I have been positively influenced by my siblings and I am who I am, in part, because of where I come from. While I am many things to many people, I am the son of my parents, the grandson of my grandparents, and brother to 4 siblings. These connections undoubtedly impact who I am in ways I will probably never fully understand, and I am eternally grateful for them, despite my inability to fully appreciate them.

So here it is, my first public recognition of my brothers Jibril, Mikhail, and Eesa, and of our only sister, Sarah. I love and respect you all. I hope that I have been a good brother so far and I promise I will ceaselessly attempt to perfect my own character, and in doing so, hopefully become a better friend and brother to you. Saying goodbye to Korea for unchartered territory is going to be tough, but having you all in my corner has made the process that much sweeter, and I’m looking forward to sharing whatever comes next with you all.